Put Yourself In Harm's Way
On the merits of pushing yourself beyond your perceived limits
I was in the gym this afternoon. I go a few times per week and lift heavy, and I put myself through it. Nobody forces me to go, I do it because I want to. Why I want to is another question altogether, though. Over time, I’ve developed a pattern of behaviour, and I don’t question it; I am compelled by the force of habit.
For the first block, I focus on a single lift, like a back squat, deadlift, or bench, and gradually work up the weight to a single heavy rep. The early sets in the block are handy, and they allow me to focus on form, and the further I go up in weight, the more difficult it becomes.
As I get closer to my max, it becomes very stressful, both physically and mentally. Sometimes it feels like I’m about to burst. Other times, it seems like I disappear completely. Whatever I am is not there, and all I experience is the physical pressure. Then I come out of it, the lift is done, and I'm sizing up the next rep. Stress fuels negative thought patterns, and I doubt myself.
“Fuck it, let’s go anyway. Whether I make the lift or not, let’s go.”
Today, as I leaned on the bar between reps, composing myself, I noted the difficulty. My heart rate was high, my breathing was fast, and I felt various levels of discomfort and pain in my body, particularly my wrists—signals that could be considered stop signals. The trick is to transpose these stop signals somehow into go signals.
I don’t know how this occurs, but it does, and I go again.
It has always been this way for me. Although I appreciate that not everyone can be energised by stress in this way, I am entirely convinced that this capacity is necessary not only for achieving goals—many of my goals I have failed to achieve, by the way, so it’s not a guarantee—but for successful living and managing all the challenges that come our way.
It builds mental and physical strength, grit, resilience, and mental toughness—the things you need to bounce back from disappointment and setbacks, and it’s all done in a safe and controlled environment.
But that’s not all
I train a group of U18s in the gym weekly. I’m not a qualified PT, but I’ve picked up enough good habits from those who know more than me to pass them on with a degree of confidence. I’ve been actively training this way for over 10 years.
There are four teams in our group at U18: A, B, C, D, and as you can imagine, the most athletic and skilled are with the A team. As you go along the ranks, engagement goes down. I’ve not studied this closely, but it may be fair to say, given what I observe from the less athletic lads, that confidence, familiarity, and comfort with the boisterousness of a gym environment may be a factor. The lower ranks seem generally reluctant to take themselves there. Nonetheless, we managed to get a number of the C and D squads training.
So, one night last week at the gym, I asked one of the lads how he has been getting on, if he is getting stronger, if the lifts are getting any easier, etc. He is one of the groups that would not be considered elite or even close to it, so starting weight training in the first place may have been a significant positive step for him.
He said yes to the above, but the main difference, he said, was “I’m more confident now”. I was surprised and pleased for him, and it was a big win for us as trainers and adults with influence in the lives of these kids. We started in Oct ‘24, and he was there at the start. He kept coming even though, as it was evident to me, the discipline was new to him, and he felt awkward being there.
Today, I examined what the research says about weight training and self-efficacy, resilience, and confidence etc. Here’s an extract from an article I found (Nowakowski-Sims et al., 2023)1;
Resistance training/lifting weights has a positive effect on well-being and can be an effective healing strategy for trauma. Whitworth et al. (2017) found that strenuous intense exercise improved PTSD symptoms. In a meta-analysis of thirty-three clinical trials, including 1877 participants, resistance exercise training was associated with a significant reduction in depressive symptoms (Gordon et al., 2018). Additionally, a meta-analysis of sixteen studies, including 922 participants, showed resistance exercise training improved anxiety symptoms among both healthy participants and participants with a physical or mental illness (Gordon et al., 2017).
Here’s another (Peng et al., 2025)2;
From a psychological perspective, physical exercise provides adolescents with diverse experiential contexts that help them develop positive self-perceptions. In these physical activities, adolescents often encounter challenging tasks such as improving physical skills, strategizing, or achieving team goals. Successfully completing these tasks not only provides immediate success experiences but also strengthens adolescents’ perception of their abilities.
And this one regarding specifically girls who trained from the 80’s (Barrett-Holloway et al., 1988)3
To test the hypothesis that a gain in self-efficacy about strength training could generalize to other areas of life and positively affect self-esteem, untrained adolescent female volunteers were tested before and after participation in 12 weeks of strength training and compared with nonactive and mildly active volunteer controls. Pre-test, post-test results for the treatment group showed improvement in strength (+40%), weight training efficacy, confrontation efficacy, and total efficacy summed over 1 1 tasks. There were related positive changes in perceived physical ability, physical self-presentation confidence, and general effectiveness in life. The treatment group improved posttest over controls on all these variables; controls did not change or worsened. These findings offer preliminary support that weight training for strength can improve confidence about a variety of life tasks in adolescent girls and could provide the basis for new modalities of therapy for low self-esteem.
Mental Skills are not only required where you pursue big, hairy goals; they apply in the everyday doing of things and living of life. A can-do mindset, grit and determination, resilience, and willingness to place yourself in complex and challenging conditions teach your organism how to cope.
Your warm-up gives your body the signals it needs to get ready for action. Then, your mind, body, and brain will quite literally reorient themselves to prepare for testing conditions. Your capacity to endure increases, your stress tolerance levels increase, and you develop skills that spill over into other areas of life.
Do it today.
Get into the gym and start lifting. Put on your running shoes, hit the park trails and get out of breath several times per week. You don’t need to be an Olympic-level athlete or anywhere close to it, so just get started.
Test yourself. In a measured and controlled manner, put yourself in harm’s way. Little and often is the key. Embrace the suck. Get stronger mentally and physically and better equipped to achieve life and work goals.
Disclaimer: If you haven’t exercised in a while, and especially if you have never lifted weights, consult your doctor and/or hire a trainer to assess your current level of fitness. Too much too soon can be detrimental to your success. But do start, because every time you work out, your brain gets stronger.
Nowakowski-Sims, E., Rooney, M., Vigue, D., & Woods, S. (2023). A grounded theory of weight lifting as a healing strategy for trauma. Mental Health and Physical Activity, 25, 100521.
Peng, B., Chen, W., Wang, H., & Yu, T. (2025). How does physical exercise influence self-efficacy in adolescents? A study based on the mediating role of psychological resilience. BMC psychology, 13(1), 1-17.
Holloway, J. B., Beuter, A., & Duda, J. L. (1988). Self‐Efficacy and Training for Strength in Adolescent Girls 1. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 18(8), 699-719.